This glossary explores the language used to describe identity, challenges, and self-acceptance among gay men. If you have any suggestions or ways we can make this glossary more inclusive, email hey@growingup.gay.
Gay man
A man who is emotionally or romantically attracted to other men.
Bisexual
Someone who is emotionally or romantically attracted to more than one gender.
Coming Out
The ongoing process of understanding and sharing your sexuality with others. This can happen at different times in different parts of life.
Closeted
Describes a gay man who has not shared his sexuality publicly, often due to fear of rejection or discrimination.
Out
Open about being gay in one or more areas of life.
Internalised Homophobia
Negative feelings about being gay that come from absorbing society’s prejudices, which can affect confidence and self-acceptance.
Homophobia
Prejudice, fear, or discrimination directed at gay men.
Heteronormativity
The assumption that being straight is the default, which can make young gay men feel different or unseen.
Straight-Passing
When a gay man is perceived as heterosexual based on appearance or behaviour.
Masculinity (Masc)
Traits or behaviours traditionally associated with being male. In gay communities, there can sometimes be pressure to appear more “masculine.”
Fem / Effeminate
Describes a more traditionally feminine way of expressing oneself. This can be part of someone’s natural personality or style.
Camp
A playful, exaggerated, or theatrical style often linked with humour and self-expression in some gay male cultures.
Code-Switching
Changing how you act, speak, or present yourself depending on your environment (e.g., hiding parts of yourself to fit in).
Chosen Family
Friends or supportive people who become like family, especially when acceptance at home is limited.
Safe Space
An environment where someone can express their identity without fear of judgement or harm.
Outing
Revealing someone’s sexuality without their permission.
First Crush
An early experience of romantic attraction, which for gay boys can feel confusing or isolating in environments that assume heterosexuality.
Representation
Seeing people like yourself in media, school, or society. Positive representation can help with self-acceptance.
Role Model
A visible gay man whose life or story helps others feel seen or gives them hope.
Bullying
Harmful behaviour (verbal, physical, or social) targeting someone for being or being perceived as gay.
Acceptance
The process of embracing one’s identity, either personally or within family, friends, and society.